The other night at work I was reading The Message on-line. I’m reading Ecclesiastes right now, and in my late-night reading, I discovered verse 8 of Chapter 7:
“Endings are better than beginnings,
Sticking to it is better than standing out.”
These words jumped out at me for a couple of reasons. And they are 1) Chicago and 2) Humboldt Park. The place I’m at in life is really great–things have worked out so well for me, so many of my friends and family have been right behind me cheering me on. I even have a friend next to me in everything. Simplified, it’s been sunshine here in the Land of Lincoln with the Homeless Guys. But, of course, this is real life, and glitter on new things rightfully fades. Of course, I am still happy, still grateful, and still love where I am. But with the settling down into a routine and an everyday comes the challenges of committment, of everyday decision, and responsibility.
So the two lines that Solomon put down forever ago jumped high into my eye and through to my brain. It’s awesome that I’ve come here, it’s awesome that I accepted this philanthropic job, but it’s only really awesome if I’m dedicated to these things as my life, one that is lived in excellence (thank you Allison Casey for emphasizing the element of excellence in life!).
Kierkegaard discusses the importance of decisions. He says that: “A road well begun is the battle half-won. The important thing is to make a beginning and get under way. There is nothing more harmful for your soul than to hold back and not get moving.” And it’s true; all of what he says is. If a good foundation is laid through a strong decision, than the theme of your action and course is sounded, there is purpose and direction and molding to what will happen next. And the relief of making a decision and stepping out in action is huge. Reversely, the pressure of never deciding is oppressive and destructive. In fact, Kierkegaard says in regard to indecisiveness, that “failure to decide prevents one from doing what is good”, and that “the archenemy of decision is cowardice”. We are cowards when we cannot say left or right, yes or no, blue or red, because there is no committment, no responsibility, no plan of action that excludes other plans and ideas.
But truly, a decision cannot finish a job. Just because I accepted the position of Resident Aide does not mean that I am a good one, or that I am fulfilling my position exceptionally or excellently. No. As Kierkegaard, again, would say, “decision may be once and for all; but decision itself is only the first thing.” There is so much after the “yes, I’d love to! thanks!” Firstly, I have to show up, then I have to rise to challenges, then i have to continue with the same committment I started with, and then I have to tailor my actions according to the truth that I learn. The decision has to continue and mature along with the journey it first set me on.
Yes, the beginning is exciting. But it is the ending that verifies the purity, integrity and impact that the beginning initially promised, or at least hoped for.
[Lines from Kierkegaard taken from Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kierkegaard ed. by Charles E. Moore, pgs. 4, 6, 7.]
Only Human 
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